“That, in fact, was how we met, even thought..” (I assume it’s supposed to be though).

I don’t know, to me, this seems a little wordy. When I read the story it seems to be it’s just saying “and then, and then, and then.” Of course, you’re not saying that literally, but I don’t see much imagery to what you’re saying.

Of course, that’s just an opinion of one person, so one person could have an opinion of something and another person could have a totally different perspective.

Given the limit I had, and trying to keep with the tone of the prequel, I did limit the imagery. I’m still getting used to the whole Character Limit thing. I fully understand, and thank you for the advice!

First of all, you repeated something we already know if we read the prequel, and you could possibly cut that out, beginning with the third sentence.
Secondly, there was something more fairy tale about the prequel, while this has more realism, the school setting, and that surprised me. I guess I was expecting a princess in her mansion.. lol. I like the contrast though, sort of a modern fairy tale. Fairy Tales are BIG right now.
Is it wordy? not really. I think it flows well. It’s a matter of style.

Nice development on both characters in the short limit. I don’t think it’s wordy at all. Perhaps you’ve put a little too much content into one piece…remember there’s always the sequel button so never let the limit restrict your creativity.

Without the prequel, this has a nice air of anonymity to it.

On a practical note, by describing when they met we already know that they were previously unaquainted…so the following phrase is redundant.
Nicely written,
Abby x