I like the tone, a sort of careless reminiscence, and the whole contrast of having let go and enjoyed life versus being consumed by range was nice. Still, it’s a whole lot in a tiny space, so it felt like too much exposition as opposed to action. I think you could have gotten close to the same effect with a shift in focus to that moment in the end with only a suggestion or two or three of that whole life you described for most of the ficly.
THX 0477