You have no idea how often I’ve wanted to do that.
Your transition between Randon’s pov and Sid’s pov confused me at first, because I couldn’t tell who it was actually talking about, but I figured it out on a re-read.
You know, for someone who claims not to be good at poetry, you write very…well…poetically. The first paragraph especially has a great rhyme and rhythm to it.
I love the use of accent in your dialogue, and how you leave it to the reader to make it mature without typing anything naughty yourself.
I find myself very much liking the character of Randon…someone completely honest about the mess that is their own life, yet still with a belief system. Great stuff.
I would suggest another look at the line beginning “with that he hammered…”, as the repetition of ‘with’ is a little irritating.
Other than that brilliant writing as always. Abby x