Ha! last line is great. :) What an awkward position for a preacher to put himself in!

You have no idea how often I’ve wanted to do that.

Your transition between Randon’s pov and Sid’s pov confused me at first, because I couldn’t tell who it was actually talking about, but I figured it out on a re-read.

You know, for someone who claims not to be good at poetry, you write very…well…poetically. The first paragraph especially has a great rhyme and rhythm to it.

I love the use of accent in your dialogue, and how you leave it to the reader to make it mature without typing anything naughty yourself.

I find myself very much liking the character of Randon…someone completely honest about the mess that is their own life, yet still with a belief system. Great stuff.

I would suggest another look at the line beginning “with that he hammered…”, as the repetition of ‘with’ is a little irritating.

Other than that brilliant writing as always.
Abby x

was going to say: brings new meaning to the term ‘bible-bashing!’ =D

Abby stole my pun!

I like how this seems to be a metaphor for Christian extremists, the fact that Randon probably hasn’t read it makes it even more accurate.

I like him though. I like his swagger.

And here I was going to say it gives a new meaning to the term “Bible-thumper.” I think Abby’s pun was better.

Great story!