A Park, Madness, and A Cell Phone

Where are you?
“I’m at the park. They see me.”
Back away slowly.
“They aren’t grizzly bears!”
You can’t use your powers here!
“Why not?!”
You’ll provoke them!
“Please, I just want it over!”

The man in a long trench coat, screaming into his cell phone, climbed atop a park bench. “Come and get me!” He threw the phone down and roared, crouching in a defensive stance, fingers curled like claws. Park goers had no idea what was going on, but felt safer ducking and running as far away as possible.

A policeman approached, baton in hand, “Get down!”

The man began to convulse and tumbled over the bench. The officer ran to him, felt for a pulse, and radioed for an ambulance.
Picking up his cell, the officer zipped it into a plastic bag.
“Hm,” the detective snorted, who had shown up out of nowhere.
“Whassat?” the officer prodded.
“The phone doesn’t even work.”
“He was usin’ it! Witnesses said!”
“No battery.” The detective turned and dramatically walked off. “Crazies!” he muttered under his breath.

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