it’s not so much that
you cancelled my favorite show
as it is that
now i have no
fantasy to cling to
no world to immerse myself in
when i’m free of thought.

now i have to
think about what’s really here
and i don’t like what is here
i don’t like what is present
i prefer to dream of the future
i don’t dwell on the past.

i knew that it was fiction
believe me
i tried to tell her as well
but her obsession just
instilled it in my brain
and reality blurred for me, too.

i promised myself i wouldn’t
become obsessed with fantasies
that are too far out there
and i’m trying
my hardest
but i’m not sure
if i can help it.