Ah the typical bravery of a child. He means well, at least. But always best to wait until daylight is on your side. I liked your beginning – it was nice to put some space aside to introduce Jack and let the reader know him.

The last two paragraphs weren’t really scary…but I’m not sure that they were meant to be so…The concept confused me overall but the writing was good.
Oh and I love V for Vendetta =) Just thought I’d mention it.
Abby x

If you’re taking this story where I think it’s going then yes, it truly will be horrifying for jack.