its’ should be its in the third paragraph

haunting, love the implied promise based on the words of some unknown other (a lover, a god, a parent, a pop star?)

very good, hope to see more of you

I’d remove beautiful, which seems implied, and also “with her death”

also, then should be than

otherwise it’s quite nice

Thanks for pointing out the typos!

Great story, and very invoking.

Chilling stuff. Overall, I commend you for handling the subject matter seriously. It’s depressing without being maudlin or melodramatic. Very nice imagery, and her interior monologue was telling without being too blunt or obvious.

Be careful with repetition: " a new page for a new chapter" sounds a little redundant, and you’ve got “almost fearfully” and “almost expected an answer” right next to each other. Personally, I doubt you need the “fearfully” descriptor, it’s implied enough in her actions and the setting. Also, if you have the room try and fragment out some of your thoughts a little more with commas, some of the sentences have a lot of rhythm but others lose flow.

Great work!

Yeah, be careful of the repetition and losing your flow.