Can’t decide whether this is tragic or hopeful…either way it’s a friggin awesome write =) Your description is perfection – especially the dawn-bullet similie paragraph … vomit etc.

The roughness of the swearing is really effective (hopefully not reading too much into it) – creating a brutal, real world that we can’t escape from and can only stumble on in.

You’re so talented! This is awesome.
Abby x

I like the turn from gritty and harsh to hopeful and downright rosy. Everyone deserves an epiphany moment, and this works as well as any. Question is, will he be able to follow the course set in such a moment.

Great entry into the challenge. I spent some time trying to come up with something for it. I may go back to it now.

A lot of meaning and great imagery for so few words! Really strikes a chord.

I like how the guy had the epiphany about a one night stand. You usually don’t hear a dude feeling that way haha. nicely done!

I was like, yeah, damn, wow, until you said “and smelly and mean” and it sucked me right out… It broke me out of the mind of this cool character, it was too pedantic for the person I’d been building up… One short strong adjective will keep the flow IMO

Thanks I’ll change it :)