Straight up bizare. Some very effective visual, especially using the colors to set the mood. I have no idea what’s going on, but that’s okay. Lovely writing.

I agree with the doc…This is weird. But weirdly wonderful. Your descriptions are all so vivid – nice solid basing around the senses: sights and smells. I especially liked your focus on particular colours – the oranges and reds of life.

The length of the last paragraph put me off a little, I must admit. Consider perhaps making the line beginning “her eyes…” a new paragraph, or maybe before then.

Overall, a lovely piece. Gorgeous, but with an oddly haunting atmosphere.
Abby x

I was going for bizarre, since I did not have much of a storyline in mind. I was just a little worried that the absurdity would take away from the overall atmosphere.

Thank you, THX and Abby, for the comments!