Very powerful stuff. I like the metered, careful tone. It fit very nicely with this sacrificial offering who is accepting and resigned in terms of her fate.

Only critique would be the line about the group of men at her door. I don’t think the comma is necessary. I think I see what you were going for, keeping the pace, but it made me pause and have to reread the sentence a few times.

Effective use of the present tense as well.

Thank you for your kind comments. I agree with you; that sentence is awkward and quite possibly incorrect.

I am by no means an editor, but I believe this is a compound sentence with a independent clause followed by a dependent clause. They is the implied pronoun (the antecedent of group) and subject. The pronoun it refers to the door modified by the prepositional phrase to my cell in the first clause. Without a coordinating conjunction to conjugate the two clauses (I had no room for an and, but no excuse), I should have used a semi-colon. I think anyway. I’d welcome correction on this.

In any case, that does not fix the awkwardness of having to read something over and over to decipher its meaning. I tend to write like Yoda speaks. Hopefully I’ll better myself here. I’ve rewritten for clarity. Please let me know if you think it still doesn’t work.