a nice “duh duh duuuuuu” feel to it, and certainly ripe for another sequel. Looking forward to more. :)

Fantastic writing, the series of commas for a cumulative feel and the interjection in the last sentence gave a feeling of briefness and urgency. The story is great stuff!

A very funny duo here, the clever and somewhat diabolical mouse and the dimwitted Mather. The bit about the paunch got a bit convoluted. I got it eventually—just took a few rereads to follow who had a paunch when. I do like that Mouse’s motivation is realistic. Yes, a grown man, even a simpleton listening to a mouse is a fantastical idea, but it helps the story stay grounded and relatable that Mouse has such an understandable motivation.