Kind of a sad but sweet little moment. Writing feels solid so no real critiques there. Somehow I doubt the little rats with wings will ever go extinct, but it’s a lovely thought all the same.

Your dialogue is great here! Your descriptions are vivid, though you might consider shortening the sentences.

’The small boy chafed gently, as small boys will when confronted with the enthusiasms of the elder, which are usually dead boring and not as fun as sweets."

Overall, an interesting piece!

Thanks, guys! I have a tendency to be wordy (which I’m sure Ficly will eventually remedy)- except, of course, when writing the Big Damn Novel, when I am concise to the point of terseness. Sigh.

Even if this was just the second sentence, by itself, this would still be an excellent ficly.

Erk, by ‘second sentence’ I meant ‘third sentence.’ The one that starts “The old woman…”

No “erk” necessary, Mr. Burger- I knew what you meant.

And FYI, coming soon when I have time to breathe- “The Cloud Factory”, “The Three of Summers” and “Unnamed Story #5”. Exciting, huh?

Not bad old pal!