Bravo! Nice use of sensory details and simile DI. You have set the protagonist up quite nicely in an edge-of-your-seat moment that culminates in a hopeless situation. The fact that it is implied he will die fighting makes us route for him as the underdog no matter his past.

I especially like the contrasting imagery of the night breeze being clean water as juxtaposed with the murky water he is standing in.

There is only one minor detail I see that may be inconsistent with the previous picture you have given us of our hero – or maybe not – and that is that he stumbled back. Does this make him weak? Does this make him fallible? Does this make him human? I think so, but I can’t decide if it’s bad or not. I’m leaning toward that it is, only because I get the feeling of sloppy. He is old though. I’m not sure. I think I’d suggest not to change it. What do you think?

Very nice job sir! I cannot wait for a sequel.

Cool scenario, and I like the valiant desperation of the last bit there. It’s a neat scene in the sense of both the flood of water and the flood of people being problematic.

Feels like there’s a lot beneath the surface. Melikey