The Ficly Element

War was coming. The stones weren’t safe on Earth, so they came and took them away, leaving the archaeologist’s body for the vultures. Well, they were looking a bit thin.

Nothing is easy, though. Good attracts evil and great power attracts great evil. And Bruce Willis.

Anyway, Brucey is just about to take his cab for a 6-month overhall when a shipwrecked girl drops in, spouting a very peculiar language indeed. Fortunately, she’s pretty good with a front-kick and is able to beat up a roomful of lizards. Evil pops in at this point and makes off with a box that turns out to be empty. How fortuitous, therefore, that the diva is shot in the abdomen.

So they head off back to Earth, racing a big ball of hot, to see who can get to Egypt first.

Will we get another moon (62 miles? I think not.)? The fate of the universe hangs on a single match…

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