Ha! You guys are doing a hell of a job with story. I’m pretty sure I laughed like a lunatic for a few minutes. I’m compelled to jump in but not sure I’d be able to keep up.

Funny ending, and I totally get that feeling of frustration when you think you’ve gone on a magical jourey…only to wind up in the backyard of a tourist trap. That second bit of dialogue doesn’t seem like it would need to be two run-on sentences, unless I’m missing something about the character or the situation.