I’m so not sure where they are nor whom they are waiting for, but the tension and banter here is great. :)

it’s a feeble attempt at suspense and mystery…i was trying to focus on characterisation

I like the back and forth and two characters. Not sure about the semi-colon use in the beginning there. I know what you were going for, but it didn’t work for me in terms of a smooth read. I loved the last line though…very cool!

i think the main problem is that i wrote this originally as a short novel and i’m having to adapt it for ficly. I am particularly proud of the last line though =D

I like the retorts, again Leo is pretty cool and the dialogue and voice of the main character is good. I like the mystery too, but would love to see more action! I found it weird that he chuckled then got angry enough for blood to pulse just on a whim, maybe that’s his character.