The writing is solid, and I like the imagery and tone! Just a suggestion here, you might want to build up a rhythm with the sentence structure for dramatic effect. Overall, a well-written piece!

I’ll keep your suggestion in mind the next time I post a story. Thank you! :D

It makes me think of the Neverending Story…if Atreyu had been a whole lot more bitter about the whole thing.

Nicely written. The emotion comes through quite nicely.

Very interesting. I agree that it could do with a little more rhythm to make it read easier but it’s a good start on the site! Welcome, welcome, welcome =)

I like that we really need to read the title of the story before we can understand the main-text: titles are important as part of themes and not just headings.

There’s a certain irony to the fact that, if the Protagonist wrote this themselves, they are only increasing their complaint – that they cannot stop us (the reader) from intruding in their life.

Very interesting and well written.
Abby x

@THX 0477: I haven’t read/watched The Neverending Story, but now I’m interested XD thanks!

@Abby Wall: Thank you! About the Protagonist increasing their complaint, I didn’t think of that before :)) but yeah, it is ironic.

Like a documentary film crew, we cannot interfere!