Hello, darling. Yes, I know it’s been a long time; I’m surprised you remember me. I know we spent so long together, but people forget things. I wouldn’t want you to forget. Of course I know I’m not allowed in here, but I thought you wouldn’t mind – for old time’s sake.

Oh, darling, why are you upset? Are you hurt? You shouldn’t try to run like that, and screaming is so childish. Here, let me get the light. Of course I know where the switch is. Behind what couch? I moved everything before you got back home, back to the way it was when I lived here. It looks so much better, I think.

There, darling, isn’t that better? Oh, my, I didn’t remember you being so squeamish! I told you I made it back to how it was before I left! You never listen; you never listened! That was always the problem with us! With you! I can’t do everything! Yes, except make a mess. I’m apparently rather good at that, aren’t I? I swear, I won’t live here like this for long.

Of course I’m staying, darling.