What to get the man who has everything

There was a man in the village who had it all. He had pigs and lovers and jewels. And he had miseries and arguments and jealousies.

One day, when a hog stepped on his foot, he opened his sty and let them run free down the main street.

The next day, when he caught the swineherd in bed with his favourite mistress, he banned women from his presence.

The third day, when he found his safe burst open, he threw his keys out the windows and ran laughing into the woods.

And now he lives without worries or cares, or anything else besides, naked and stuffed full of freshly-picked berries and freshly-fished trout.

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