I like the ship analogy, especially there at the end. A few grammar missteps along the way (“He freezes…” is a run on; Last paragraph missed a ‘have’ in front of ‘been’.), but generally a lovely poem/prose mix to evoke an emotional state and tell the story.

Thanks THX! Yes, I forgot a ’ve, thanks for the insight. I pulled in the theme from the original; I wanted to build this piece around “Harbor”.

This sounds like an 80’s hit single by some brittish band. The rhyming I mean. Areally good piece though which I felt had great imagery.