please help me
my system
is shutting down
and i can’t
do a thing
to stop it

i have
completely
lost
the ability
to care
about anything
and everything
at all

i try to care
i want to care
but it seems
physically impossible

is caring a physical action?
i don’t know
i don’t care
and i can’t stand
my disgusting apathy
and my dread

the dread
that drives me
to do anything
at all
i push through
each day
telling myself
that the day will soon be over
but when it is
i just begin
to dread the next day

it’s a vicious cycle
i know
but i’m stuck in it
and i can’t get out
and i try to have fun
and i try to enjoy myself
but the entire time
i’m too busy
dreading
everything
soon to come

i remember
earlier
i was asleep
and i woke up
and i had been dead
seriously
i literally had
forgotten that i was alive
and it was the best
death
i have ever had

i only wish
it could have lasted
forever