Everyone in the office was staring at him as he nervously made his way through the maze of cubicles to the office at the end. After a booming announcement for him to see his boss, he was nervous. He was never called to see the boss. Some people were smirking, maybe this would be the comeuppance our hero deserved? He swallowed as he turned the knob on the office door.

“Richie! How are ya?!” His fat ugly boss was happy for something. His fat ugly boss is never happy.

“Um, I’m fine! Hah!”

“Siddown! Do you know why I called you in here this morning?”

“Honestly, I have no idea… Heh.” Richie sat down and almost missed the chair.

“Richie, you’re getting promoted!”

“Fuck off! Really?!” His boss frowned at the profanity. “Um, I mean thanks!”

“That’s the spirit! Now you’re going to need these…” He proceeded to lay a handgun, shotgun, landmine and a rocket launcher on the table. Richie gulped.

“What exactly does my promotion entail?”

“Let’s just say… You’re not an I.T consultant anymore, Dick.”