Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her porridge and way.
Along came a spider who sat down beside her, and frightened Miss Muffet away.
Little Miss Muffet, enraged from her fright, pulled out her six-inch blade.
“Fuck You Spider, and all of your offspring, for I shall never more be afraid.”
Blood spewed from the spider, as Miss Muffet sliced limb after limb after limb.
Watching the spider twitch in pain brought Miss Muffet a hideous grin.
When all was said and done that day, Miss Muffet collected her treasure.
Eight bloody legs were stewed for lunch, and eight bloody eyes for dinner.