Dear Sir or Madam;

On the Thirty-first day of December, Two Thousand Ten, I hosted a much anticipated yet dignified function at my Ten Park East luxurious apartment home.

A woman of distinction and of high station, relaxed her well and richly fed body upon my vintage Crane porcelain commode. Due to the amount of gold adoring her svelte figure, the porcelain bowl finally collapsed.

I immediately contacted my lawyers and insurance adjusters, who promptly arrived and helped my stunned guest off of the floor. (They even gave her a wipe with my imported linen hand towels!)

After much research and procrastination, I decided to purchase your product, the Sit & Weight. It really is amazing to sit on. My bowel-habit conscious guests are amazed by the built in toilet seat scale, they instantly know how much weight they lost through all three methods.

But, I must return the device. It flushes counter clockwise, making my guests flee in fright and me, marked a free-thinking Liberal!

Sincerely,

~Donald Trump