You obviously have a lot of emotion in this. Only how you can improve this is make it run more smoothly. I mean you have a good story probably set up for this but you jam it all into the story so it’s kind of choppy and inconsistent with your writing.
The story had a lot of dialogue and that’s okay but we need to feel what they’re feeling or be in their shoes, you’re sort of just telling us.
another thing is I’m not sure I’m feeling the caps lock usage, but that’s just my opinion also going hand in hand with the exclamation points at the end. Just something to consider.

Just read this over sometime in the future and see how you can change wording and if you do that you can create more of an emotion of what this girl has been going through and why she feels like she has to take her own life.

best of luck & sorry this is so long.
helpful?
possibly?

Technical issues aside (Infinity covered them well enough), there is a lot of emotion in your words. Some of it hitting very close to home for me. Polish this sucker up and it’s easily a five pencil story.

Thank you two! I will. I was a little drunk on wine when I put it up…hahaha! I suppose I just flow better when I am in the comfort of good company along with a glass of wine :)

ok, just re-vamped it…had a little wine, but should be better…Thank you!

The first paragraph is fine, missing a period after ‘busy’, but it sets the tone really well.

the second paragraph adds more to the story, but by the time you get to the pregnant sentence, you throw it all to the wind. You forsake the grammar of the top part, the sentiment, and just throw words on the paper recklessly. You lose the flow.

Just some notes.

Ya, IDK! Its hard its a letter she found from three years back, then adds to it her anger pain and frustration in her NOW life that she will end.

There, I fixed it back to how it should be which kinda clarifies its an old letter