Yup, that met the challenge requirements alright. I feel dirty just having read it.

I’m sure I’ve commented about this before, Robert, but I often find that in the first paragraphs of your stories, you provide introductory material that isn’t strictly necessary. In this story, I find that true of your first two paragraphs. We don’t know what your protagonist is a driver for (mortuary, medical school, etc.) and I don’t think it really matters that he’s a driver at all. He could just as easily have been a grave robber.

Were I in your place, I would likely have started after the 1st sentence in the 2nd paragraph. That would have allowed you to develop the critical part of the story more fully, and to allow your protagonist to speak more than once. If he speaks to corpses/cadavers at all, I suspect he’d be likely to keep up a running conversation.

Freaky. Seriously freaky.
Of course, I’m talking about your story but today when I was trying to figure out what to write about, I wanted to do something insanely…weird and I thought about writing something insanely similar to this!

I think I have telepathy to other ficly-ers?

Anyways, this may be the best entry yet. Super disturbing and..disgusting!
very well done!

ack! I don’t know why, but I originally thought that the narrator was a cabbie or shuttle bus driver, and that the girl was alive at the beginning of the story. After reading August’s comment, now I’m along with the general dead body transportation business theory, but it just isn’t clear no matter how I read it.

I guess I kinda like it that way.

I thought she was the boogeywoman when she didn’t respond, I thought he was the goner.

I don’t think you needed the room part, it too big an idea for this great small story.

You could list a place where one might take a prostitute/victim and both still remain in the van: a parking lot, dirt road, alley, parking garage…you don’t say what kind of van it is. If you want to make it a location, it could be his home, with a garage and all, or a barn he could pull into, I just don’t see him lugging corpse into a hotel/motel.

Or, you could define the room, without giving it away, such as ice cold room.