Dear Disrespectful, Blasphemous, Inconsiderate Human Being,

Stop being a contemptuous prick that stays up all hours of the night. Unlike some people, I actually go to sleep in the evening. This may be because I work, and have responsibilities. Two things that you will never fully comprehend because your profane mannerisms prevent you from doing the simplest tasks such as paying rent, and taking out the trash.
Which brings me to another topic. The retched smell that seeps from your living space is atrocious. I cannot stand to live next door to such a foul being.
Were you raised by a pack of hounds?
Seriously.
You are by no competition the most sacrileges person I have ever met in my lifetime.
If I hadn’t leased my apartment for another six months, I would have moved out by now. Like all of the other residents who have had to live next door to you.

-Disgusted, Sensible Man Next Door