This feels like you were holding in a guffaw all the way through and then on the last line you just couldn’t help but bray like a mad donkey on amphetamines.

Not sure if that’s what you were aiming for, but it made me snicker.

Sloppily written parody.

I can see where you’re coming from, but it just feel like you’re regurgitating bits of script verbatim.

Lazy writing. Must try harder.

I utterly hate technobabble. It gets in the way of storytelling and there are plenty of fine stories that get along fine without it.

With this one, I was cocking my snook at Trek in particular, but BS in general.

A well-deserved one out of five, I feel.

Also, I got two rifts in three paragraphs. EREPETITION.

One of my favourite last lines of anything I’ve read on here.

Superb entry.

Surely I’m not the only one laughing? Perhaps comes from having watched the new Star Trek so recently and thinking there was no science behind the fiction.

Spiderj, don’t worry about dkscully and Daniel’s comments. They are good friends of mine and I’m chatting with them in another window. I dared them to give me a 1, which they duly did, with no hard feelings.

In truth, this is a rubbish piece of writing, but it serves to illustrate the point quite nicely, I feel.

! The sense of the situation becomes clear to me.

The ‘something’ in the last line is perfectly placed. I shall now depart.

Having said all that, I did intend it to be funny. I am glad you liked it.

As a long time fan of Star Trek (and sci-fi in general), I love this! You’ve definitely got the “pulling out of my (insert appropriate orifice here)” feel that I sometimes get watching ST, especially TNG. Nice one!

Nice. IT felt like it was pulled straight out of Star Trek. The funny thing is, i haven’t even seen the new movie yet. HAahaha *