This is why I write songs about OTHER people and why THEIR lives suck.

I have this problem. Misery makes good art, I guess, and I’m not that miserable. So I relate.

A note: “Pawing” at the shelves implies frantic, crazed rummaging to me—a comic idea, but not one supported by the subsequent, less-frantic-sounding awkward strum. After pawing, I’d expect panting, and while this story is funny, it doesn’t seem slapstick enough for panting.

I had to think about this one a bit before I decided what I thought of it. I like the theme, I get the impression that the narrator yearns for a more interesting life, feeling incomplete in his comfort, lacking inspiration, etc.

I’d addressed the diction in the penultimate paragraph. It all feels sort of out of place.

Tried to add that time passed between the bulk of the story and the penultimate paragraph to explain the changed diction. Not too sure if it works, but hey, experimentation never hurts!

This is really good. One small thing, try having the third-last paragraph end with an ellipsis. “Just as well, it’s 2pm…” That will better convey the sense of time passing before the following paragraph.

Hmm. Like the idea behind this. Misery is the essence of life; build character and all that. ;) The restlessness, indecision and contemplation very nicely fitted in. The last bit between, “Just as well, it’s 2pm..” and the “5pm now” I think is a bit awkward though.

I had a hard time really getting into the story till the end, but those last lines made up for it. I sure hope the guy gets a break.