Great Job Robert.

Here’s your meter:
8
9
8
9
8
10
10
10
8
10
10
9
10
10
9
8
8
9
7
8
8
8
8
8
8
8
8
9

Nice to see the mathematical build, like breathing,

Building strength: 898989.

Angst & frustration: 101010810109101098897

Finally, you can breath again: 888888,

Followed by a deep breath, 9

Nice.

I had no idea. In my head they are all 8’s lol. Which is why I am no longer allowed in band class…

It’s a great piece, it bleeds.

You might be able to build a crescendo in 4 groups of 7 lines, 7×7, 7×8, 7×9, 7×10.

There’s a pattern there. If you got kicked out of band, then it’s because you wouldn’t follow the rules, that’s how new music is created.

“Jello for legs, love is a plague
No, love is a cage makin my heartbreak”

This is great, the whole thing is great. Just like 32 squared broke it down, it has a great build up, release and closing. Really altogether a great piece.

I don’t know much about rap but it is music, and the metre used in most music is measured qualitatively rather than quantitatively. Qualitatively, there are 4 metrical feet in the first line, 1 foot for each stressed syllable. Quantitatively, yes, there are 8, 1 per syllable. So, I need some education. Is this piece rap, or is it something else (like slam poetry perhaps)?

This is awesome, really!

Good job, I like how you used a non-traditional form of writing.