One word is all it takes to set a tone for a story. “There we are. Better?” creeps me out, WE, it gave me the willies. It’s the way a nurse talks to a patient, or an older man to a very young girl. At first I thought it was bad grammar, but you use it again: “What are we exactly?” Excellent attention to contextual details. I’m envisioning manipulation, at best, afoot.
One word is all it takes to set a tone for a story. “There we are. Better?” creeps me out, WE, it gave me the willies.
It’s the way a nurse talks to a patient, or an older man to a very young girl.
At first I thought it was bad grammar, but you use it again: “What are we exactly?”
Excellent attention to contextual details. I’m envisioning manipulation, at best, afoot.
(I ignore tags)
The first we, eh, it’s dated, but the second we is perfect. I say keep it! I think you did a fabulous job of capturing fear of commitment and unconditional love. :)
I. Love. This. It really captures the moment of the fear to love, but wanting to do so very well. Good Job
32 ^2 
ElshaHawk (LoA) 
Brebelles {LoA}