Very nice, PJ. Very effective. I would substitute “memory” for “flashback”. Flashbacks are used in film or television, and you haven’t otherwise used the word “memory”. Several of your sentences, most of which are questions, don’t end in question marks. The “then” in the last sentence wants an “if” somewhere at the beginning of the sentence. “If you think on me …” would do. I don’t make the same comment about the “then” in your first sentence since it appears that the story starts mid-thought which is just fine for Ficly.

A point of minor amusement on my part: you’re too young to remember that the current London Bridge is not the first bridge so named. Back in the 1960s, London Bridge was sold to an American and installed in Lake Havasu City, Arizona, after it was found that the bridge was sinking.

Thanks for the grammar tips. It’s easy to forget question marks in extended sentences haha.

I actually knew this. It was in some kind of documentary or maybe on some road plaque on the walk from Waterloo to the current London Bridge.

I like the story of how Tower Bridge’s arches used to be lower, so that the flow of the river was restricted so much that it turned to ice and they had festivals on the river. Then the mayoral council had the arches redone and there were no more winter festivals.

I didn’t know that about the Tower Bridge. Interesting.

Looking at your story again, I would also recommend breaking it up into paragraphs, allowing the questions to speak for themselves as significant thoughts which they are. I’d also change “among” to “amidst” or “amid” if something less poetic is wanted. But that’s me…

Nicely done. :) Yeah it could use paragraph breaks, but the emotion here and the flashbacks are well wrought.

Imagery and tone are great, the contrast in emotion is stark, fantastic stuff!

I didn’t even realize the issues with your grammar until I read the other comments. This is incredible, and the flashbacks and imagery are impressive. And I can relate to this which makes it especially good.