Nicely set up from their perspective to create the ‘Oh crap’ moment of that last line. Very nicely done and a clean, straight-forward read.

Did any go down the drain during experimentation? Ruh roh… I can see the sewage treatment people being upset and/or blinded…

Commentary: Honesty forces me to confess that I borrowed the general story line from a short story that I remember reading way back in high school. I don’t remember the name of the story or the author, but it had to do with adding miniscule amounts of a chemical to water that caused the density of ice to increase slightly. The story followed through with what the effect of that would be on the entire planet if the chemical escaped the lab which, in the story, it did.

Oh the ending leaves everyone on a cliff hanger. Hope we don’t drink that water someday and then all turn into zombies…

Anyways, I loved how this is written. Especially the line of liquid sunshine. I have taken chemistry and when we’ve had labs, we didn’t do something as cool as this but it’s awesome to think that chemicals can create such an amazing reaction.

nicely written. I love it

You could do without a couple of the commas in there. The concept is very clever, even if it is stolen. It fits with the challenge very neatly indeed. And I like the dialogue between the two characters – you create a pretty good instant relationship which is always impressive in such a short piece as a ficly.

Very interesting that you chose blue and bright white for the chemical sunshine. I’m still childish enough to think of golden yellow =). I also love the writing – it’s beautiful, scary and weirdly funny all at the same time.
Nice job
Abby x

@Abby: Commas are my downfall. No matter how carefully I edit, I always mess up on commas. It seems that a lot of people do.

@everyone: Thanks for the praise.

Commentary (cont’d): I found the short story. It’s available online at: http://mrboody.wikispaces.com/file/view/The+Catalyst.pdf