(Comma after failed? Select Edit Your Story, then save)

Once again, full of a lot of information without feeling cramped; Almost a Cosmic Preacher kind of feel to it, and valid truths too.

I don’t know where you’re going with this, I really don’t care, my interest is solid. However, this could also (not only) be viewed as a prologue , therefor, a prequel?

Try reading this first, then your first second, you can even copy the first one and enter it as a sequel to this one, that way you have it both ways.

I don’t know if you are new here, or if you are familiar with how prequels and sequels work, but one story can have multiples, a “plug” is never created. So have fun with it.

(You might get criticism about the lack of returns and paragraph structures, sometimes the eye has a hard time following such a long string of words. But I don’t mind the style)

Personally, I was ready to read some more action after the first three sentences. I was all set up, and then… more exposition. Not only was it exposition, but it elaborated on the same exact thing, the promised whirlwind of destruction that frustratingly has not arrived!
The part about the machine is great nonetheless, but by then, the reader is like ‘come on where’s the ACTION?!" :)
Then we are swept up by the question, and get back into the scene at the end.
I do hope you sequel, because I want to get to the good parts!

The action will arrive shortly. Its flight was delayed and it was a little jet lagged when it showed up.

Be patient…I am new to this

Just some helpful hints I guess. Welcome to ficly, and please stay and play!

I like that you gave yourself options. Think about where you want to go with this and delete one of them. But you did tie it together very well.

I understand Elsha’s comment, but your response makes sense too, it does matter where you’re going to take this, so some story building can be helpful, especially for those who like a lot of detail.