Not a comfy spot, but the fridge does have warm air coming out from the bottom of it.. The lines about half empty, and the things that stood between them.. awesome.
This is so sweet, and sad. Excellent weave, how you have a common yet hidden thread, fully exposed in the end, stinging like a whip.
Your opening paragraph actually has too much information, I would suggest a slight trim. And replace some of your "the"s and repetitions. But only in your first, the rest is great.
If there’s no dog, she’s gone, Alton thought to himself as he slid his key into the doorknob and prepared to be greeted like a king. Nothing. No paws scratched his thighs. No tongue licked his kneecaps. He had lost his job, his marriage was over and now his dog was gone. His life had become a country song.
I loved the line about not liking country music. The other great part for me was the question posed at the end, then answered so clearly in the last sentence. Great piece with a clear scene and sense of emotion to it.
I like how the descriptions are very realistic. I could easily see this story having actually happened. I also like the opening line, it’s like he’s relying on the dog’s absence or presence to let him know the current situation his life is in. great job!
ElshaHawk (LoA)
32 ^2
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musicgirl