awesome

Cute idea and message to it. I got totally lost in the switching back and forth between past and present tense. Pick one and stick to it. If you meant it to be all in past tense, it means you shouldn’t do that any more. Just go with past tense unless the story really, really, really begs for it.

Most don’t.

Like I said though, the scene, heartache, and message still come through nicely.

why would they have blinds over a brick wall? perhaps the bed curtain he can push aside, in an attempt to locate the window…

This has a nice idea behind it, but I felt it could be better executed. Like THX said, the tense changes threw me off a little; also, there was a bit of run-on in the first and second paragraphs which clunked up the flow a little. And the window bit struck me as odd, as Elsha said. But overall you did manage to cover nicely the ideas of mortality and kindness and the like, which is good.