pretty powerful

Not having read the rest, this stands pretty well on its own and I am glad you are writing! There are a couple of things that stand out. First, the last sentence is in the present tense while everything else is past tense. Second, for better or worse the lake metaphor sticks out (which is not necessarily a bad thing mind you). Lastly, the sentence “the precipice was frighteningly close” feels clunky.

As always, feel free to ignore any advice that you don’t feel applies.

thanks. i changed the last line. that makes sense to keep in the same tense.

i was trying to convey a suspenseful atmosphere with the cliff and the characters emotions. thats why i chose the lake metaphor. maybe i can come up with something more poignant. and i’ve always liked the word precipice. just saying it sounds cool to me. p-r-e-c-i-p-i-c-e. aaaaaaaaah. so soothing

once again, thanks for the comments :)
cheers!