you know
this was my dream
it has been
since i was in
second grade
at least

i just want you to know
that you are the one
to crush that dream

it isn’t your fault
this is your job
i know it isn’t your choice
to fail people

it’s my fault

i’m the one who
crushed my dreams
you are just the messenger

english was my passion
writing was my passion
writing is my passion
just not this kind
i can’t stand this writing
i can’t take it
i refuse to write it
not consciously
but i cannot overthrow
my subconscious

i can’t not be creative
it’s too difficult
i can’t be controlled
i can’t control my thoughts
my thoughts are not organized
so why should my writing be so

i can’t put such a censor on my brain
i was never meant to be like this
i trapped myself in a love
i can’t fulfill

so much for college
what the fuck business
do i have there

i can’t even write a high school paper
what the fuck
am i supposed to do for
the rest
of my life