Way to set a high bar for a challenge I already found difficult. I know that doesn’t sound like praise but it is. I will have to do something different to make my mark… Well done- as usual.

Commentary: This piece is inspired by Kate Bush’s song Watching You Without Me (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epARzZP1-e8) which also uses the second person perspective. This is the second time I’ve used this song as the inspiration for one of my stories. The other story is A Phantasm of You (http://ficly.com/stories/22113). The song contains the line “I’m not here,” which I find very surreal.

Brilliant use of second-person, really like the way you made the audience prepare and eat dinner alone to make the emptiness concrete.

This is very well done, I like the coldness of the entire piece yet I don’t sympathize for the character whose been left all alone. Taking us through every step of their night emphasized the loneliness the character felt as well as how slow time must have been moving until they realised the suitcase was gone. Great stuff.

I didn’t see where this was going until too late, exactly like the character whose role you just made me play. Without any background information or context, I miss the narrator. I literally didn’t know what I had until I lost it. This is brilliant.