Not surprisingly, you’re equal to the task. It’s well told. The 4th paragraph doesn’t seem to read correctly though.

Much better than my entry.

I agree with August, but it’s an easy fix, maybe write, you command your soldiers would round it out nicely.

The first paragraph, maybe change to drop?

Fantastic stuff. The use of metaphors and suspense really drew me in, really like the idea, and the way you speak straight to the audience.

Looks good to me. I don’t remember the previous 2nd paragraph but this reads nicely. I thought briefly about recommending the generic ‘weapon’ instead of the specific ‘sword,’ but I think the implications of the sword (being a manual weapon) are more appropriate. The other thing that caught my attention was the combination of bullets swarming and leading the charge in the 1st paragraph together with marching in the 4th paragraph. If I were about to cross into a bullet-swarmed area, I don’t think I’d march.

A good story, good description and emotion which I find hard to do in a 2nd person. I also like the little detail of the Gewehr rifle

Amazing! I love it.

I can totally picture myself in a battle-field.

Nicely done.