yes
this is
a cry
for help

yes
this is
my pain

yes
i know
that you
cannot
help
me

yes
i wish
you
could

no
i am not
seeking
any form
of attention

if i were
i would be
a lot less
secretive
and a lot
less private
and attempt
very hard
to show off
my death

yes
sometimes
i believe
i am god
and i can
take a life
but i can’t

yes
sometimes
i believe
in god
and that he
is somewhere
laughing
while i suffer

i once claimed
i would devote my life
to god
and to his son
and the holy mother
but now
i can’t devote my life to living

sometimes
i envy
those who
can put
trust in him
and rely on him
and believe in him
even when the times are good

i tell you
the things
i think
and do
and write
and you don’t
know what
to say

and that’s alright
but don’t
be ignorant
about it

don’t yell at me
don’t chastise me
don’t chide me

don’t yell at yourself
don’t chastise yourself
don’t chide yourself

this is just as much your fault
as mine

you can help
if you want
this is not in my power
this is your problem to fix
please?