This takes your story in a completely different direction, and I don’t think that’s a good thing. The idea of a cat-and-mouse game between father and daughter makes much more sense than any of this, which doesn’t really follow.

I think it would be better as its own series

thanks for the comment, yes cal is quite a different character, i thought I might play with him. I’m spending some time on all my characters, to see what works and what doesn’t. You’re right, I should probably stick with the main storyline on ficly. The father and daughter fight is onyl a small part.

I kinda liked the switching form character to character, but this one does seem a bit out of place. I don’t think it’s needed, seeing as all the things stated in this, were already subliminally stated before.

yup, it’s a blatant overuse of space! lol sometimes in a long series you need a recap.. but apparently I don’t.. :P

Personally, I’m somewhat suspicious of the timing relationships. Mama Maggie could be Cal’s mum. Quite a disguise, though. And she has a trailer of her own to live in. Nah, not that.

Something deep in my stomach suspects JoAnn’s father of nefarious nocturnal activity alongside that already depicted.

I’m enjoying this read.

i’m glad someone is enjoying it, ethel! I’m loving the comments, both critical and congratulatory. I know I can’t please everyone, but I will fix errors in grammar or awkward parts. And I will clear up Cal’s Mom’s activity..

well i see a love story coming! =D