Wow I really really like this. It is a very well put together poem that keeps the scheme but also tells the story with good imagery and emotion well done

Very well done! I honestly was not expecting any poems, but it was great!

This is so good! Gave me chills. One question: did you mean to have a “to” before the word alter in the first line of the third paragraph? Maybe you didn’t. It reads in a very interesting way as is. Again, great work!

@Patroclus: Thanks for noticing the error. I must have missed it during revision.

Well done, but so dark! Maybe I’m too optimistic and glass-half-full..

Ah! Have no fear, Elsha! I am not so hapless a soul as this poem would suggest.

Loved it, though I am with Elsa. I was with the poem up until the last verse. I’ve had my heart broken, but I don’t intend to die before I’ve pieced it back together.

Regardless, I am envious of how well you kept this poem on point. Whenever I write poetry it usually meanders into silly dribble. This, however, was excellent.