Really cool. The women seem to take charge in all situations, although this is less likely in Mother Russia >_< Technical points: her blue almost purple eyes shimmered should be written her blue – almost purple - [this could also be written in parentheses] eyes shimmered seeing he was on to stomach “to” should be “his” the pain his head throbbed with is too clunky. You should say, the throbbing pain in his head. I don’t mean to be overly critical, but as I’ve said before, it’s really quite important :’)
Really cool. The women seem to take charge in all situations, although this is less likely in Mother Russia >_<
Technical points:
her blue almost purple eyes shimmered should be written her blue – almost purple - [this could also be written in parentheses] eyes shimmered
seeing he was on to stomach “to” should be “his”
the pain his head throbbed with is too clunky. You should say, the throbbing pain in his head.
I don’t mean to be overly critical, but as I’ve said before, it’s really quite important :’)
Wednesday [PJ] ((LoA)) Wednesday [PJ] ((LoA))