Ooh, nicely done. I love the duality here, from the cynicism to the person’s own canned refrain at the end. Very, very nicely done.

This is the second of your ficlys I’ve read and Marin has been in both.. in two different stories. I like how you write. It’s clean, if that makes sense. Or rather not bogged down with heavy handed descriptions. It’s simply wonderful. You get inside of your characters heads and the situations you describe feel genuine. I feel like I’m actually listening to a conversation and not reading a ficly. That’s a great skill— to make someone forget that their reading they get so caught up in the story— and it doesn’t happen often. I think the more aware I am that I’m reading, unless it’s poetry, the less I like it. Anyway, nice one!

Christ. This is eloquent. I know this situation all too well. Succinct, but perfect. This is fantastic.

Thanks all!! Yeah, I tend to be lazy about names; whenever I can’t think of a good enough name i use Marin because i don’t know anyone with that name so she can be just about anyone.

Use the same names, each story is a stand alone, no big deal. There’s a great story about names being repetitively used over and over in movies, like some kind of signature/code. I’ll try to find it for you. But here’s a great blog on the subject.

http://www.rightsofwriters.com/2011/04/copyright-in-fictional-characters-can-i.html

Only one suggestion, If I may. Your last line would have a much greater impact if you made a small change:

I am a good listener because I say the right things.

It just seems a tight way to wrap it up.

I love this!

I have to say that I disagree with 32^2. I think having the last bit as two sentences is punchier. I also think it allows more room for the irony to shine through – I am a good listener (am I? do I really listen?). I say the right things (is that all I do?).

The line about not seeing them as a victim anymore is what gets me the most. So true. When the blinders come off, your whole attitude towards the person changes. Then they see it and react differently.. Unless you are not only a good listener, but also a good actor. :)

Excellent, onion. Everything flowed perfectly from your story’s nexus point: “Wow, Marin, I didn’t know. [I knew.] I’m sorry. [I wasn’t.]”
And that cynical line worked on so many levels. I greatly enjoyed this one.

clearly, you have messed up friends too.

:D I love it!!

This is something I really like, abstraction, cynicism, confusion and realisation! All put together in one!

Quite sad and depressing and I really understand the story; it’s beautifully poignant I must say. Lovely.