are you blaming this on me
i feel like you are
you’re no longer my friend
whether it’s of your choosing
or because of what they said

you said yourself
i didn’t incite these things
i helped put them in motion
but they did not originate from me

blaming me for this
is like blaming
the bullies
in columbine
for their own deaths

perhaps if you had just
killed yourself
i would be able to get over this sooner
and easier

it would be easier to accept your absence
altogether
instead of accept your change
because you were never really altogether here
anyway

i can’t just go from that
that deep, everlasting bond
deeper than our cuts
deeper than our bones

i was your marrow donor

we were soul mates
we were more than that
you were my lifeline
how do i just get rid of that
how am i supposed to forget that
how am i supposed to move on

they destroyed me
they fixed you
and i’m stuck
in this place
and i just want to die
and it’s too hard to move
and i can’t hide anything anymore
and i can’t hide at all
and what do i
do?