Wow, the first paragraph after the quotes has every sentence grammatically wrong: missing comma, comma splice, and no subject. Starting a quote should be preceded by a comma not elipses (the three periods in a row). Next, by convention, start a new paragraph when a different person speaks. For writing strength, try not to start sentences with conjunctions (but, and, etc.), even though we all talk that way. Second to last paragraph, did you mean to put, “…when she remembered…”?

Okay, I’ve brutalized you on grammar. The content I actually like. It feels very real, this whole idea of her kind of fading away from real discussion by focusing on this random and minor aspect of her son that still holds meaning for her. You lost me at the end though. It seems to hint he committed suicide (maybe I’m reading in too much), and if that’s the case she wouldn’t ‘understand’ that. She’d hate that. She’d be angry about that. Everything else rang true, but that really stuck out to me.

thank you for helping me with the grammar stuff. i think i get very caught up in what i’m trying to say that i forget the basics. i will be editing.

as for your questions, no it is supposed to say “somehow what she remembered…” as if to say she’d lost grip of proper social etiquette, but what she did remember ended her up in that awful conversation. maybe i can tweak the language a bit.

that last sentence is her own realization that she would like to “end it”. what i mean is she understood why he did it because she now feels the same way and wants to do it herself. so it is understanding as opposed to anger. unless you have a better suggestion.

Too much stuff going on. The reader can’t get emotionally invested in the character if you don’t explain what happened to her upfront. You have to pick only one goal (drama or plot twist) and execute on it.

thanks for all the helpful critique. i’ve updated this story and i cant wait to move on to my second story.