welts don’t last
as long as scars
and smokes makes you smile
quite unlike alcohol

what am i doing
will i be able to recover from this
i’m still hurting myself
in other ways than before
and i still want to die
in other ways than before
but the feelings persist anyways

so what of these new methods
what will they accomplish

is it better
is it worse
is it different
am i cursed

when will i stop trying so hard
to destroy myself