She’d never hit me before.

I guess the correct response to “does my bum look big in this?” is not to hesitate and simply say “of course not, honey”. So I’d lost already when I said “Erm…”.

She’d over reacted. I was only fumbling to find the finest expression to convey that her excellent posterior appeared neither enlarged nor reduced by what she had been wearing.

Am I the only man who doesn’t quite understand what all the fuss is about when it comes to fashion? I mean, she actually has a mug that says ‘If the shoe fits – buy it in every colour!’ I buy shoes in every colour – one pair black, the other brown, what more could I need… apart from some slippers, a pair of trainers, sandals for the summer, wellies for the winter, some climbing boots, of course my red Converse All Stars… Oh well… I suppose I do have my fashion requirements too.

Anyway, the point is: what threw me off balance in the first place was that the outfit she’d selected for our 25th Anniversay dinner was a pair of YELLOW PYJAMAS!