I stared at the chipped pink polish on my toenails as I stood in bare feet on the sidewalk. I knew it was best to stay quiet, so I kept my gaze fixed solidly down. It occurred to me then just how dirty my feet were, I must remember to wash them. Stop-I reminded myself-I am trying to act sad.

“Maddie, why did you hit Jenny in her face?” Daddy seemed serious. I shouldn’t admit anything yet. “Madison, this is serious, you hurt her very badly. Tell me why you hit her right now!” Uh oh.

I did it because she had pretty dresses. Her curly hair was always clean and decorated with ribbons; it bounced when she walked. She had socks with lace ruffles and more than one pair of shoes. I did it because it was Christmas and Daddy lost his job again. No presents again. We’d be lucky to get Christmas dinner. I wanted more than dinner, I wanted pretty things.

“I did it because …she called me a dirty wetback, she said I get gifts from other people’s trash!”
“Oh Maddie, sweetheart.”

This time it was Daddy that I hurt.